Hello, blogsters! And welcome back to Skyler's Soapbox! The soon-to-be hottest blog spot on the web for all of those people out there who love to talk about things they have no concept of. You know, the ones you love to hate. But hey, look on the bright side. Chances are, if you are reading this, you are one of those ignorant fucks I am talking about, and have taken the first step to recovery by reading this blog and becoming more informed of the world around you. Gold stars all around!
Being new at this blogging thing, I had a little bit of trouble coming up with a topic to rant about today. So then I thought to myself, "What is something relatively widely discussed going on right now that effects me on a personal level?". And then, it hit me. And so, I say to you, grab yourself a happy ten sack, a hitter box, and some potato chips. You guessed it. Let's talk about that wonder plant we all know and love: MARIJUANA!
The first thing I want to get off my chest right off the bat is directed at all you idiots out there who are going to condemn me for talking about an illegal substance. To all you dickweeds out there, all I have to say is that YOU are the ones that need this shit more than anyone else out there. You are prudes, and you are ignorant douche bags for condemning something simply on the principle that it is illegal. The only thing you are proving is that you don't have a mind of your own, because I could bet that a good 95% of you fuckers know absolutely no FACT in why it is illegal to begin with. You are simply presumptuous enough to assume that it is horrible simply because the government has made it illegal. YOU people piss me off the most because you don't have the initiative or brains enough to call into question anything that is put into place by the government. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why this country is on a first class track to hell.
That being said, let's give a brief 411 on the history of this multi-purpose plant:
Marijuana, or the hemp plant, has been in use as far back as 7000BC for a variety of uses. For example, Hemp was used to make the first known cloth, and hemp seeds were used as a primitive medication to treat a plethora of different ailments. In some countries, the plant has been used in religious offerings and has been considered sacred. It later became widely popular to smoke in the Islamic world, as many Muslims were prohibited from drinking alcohol (which I might add has been scientifically proven to be more damaging to the brain and liver than Marijuana.) In 1619 in Jamestown, farmers were even required to grow the plant for it's many uses.
Now, my next point: If hemp is such a valuable resource, why it illegal? Many of you may be saying "Well, Marijuana is a dangerous drug that is damaging to your brain, impairs your judgement, and slows your reaction time. Not to mention it is a 'gateway' drug to other worse, more addicting substances, as Marijuana is very addicting and can lead to the exploration of others that are far worse, as well as a decrease in sexual potency."
The first rebuttal I would like to offer is that, to some degree, you are correct. The THC in pot does have an effect on the brain that, essentially, "puts your brain cells to sleep." which gives you the high sensation, which can lead to impairing of judgment and slower reaction time. But seriously, what's the damn difference between that an alcohol? The only real difference is that pot puts your brain cells to sleep, while alcohol just straight up kills them. And for all you geniuses out there who don't know a damn thing about brain cells, they don't reproduce. Unlike all the other cells in your body, once you lose brain cells, they are gone. With moderate use, weed does NOT have lasing, damaging effects like alcohol, and in all honesty, I would personally rather have my kids smoking weed than getting blitzed with their buddies on a Friday night. And also, speaking from personal experience (Oooo I'm such a bad influence) weed has never once decreased my sexual potency as much as it has ENHANCED it. And man....it's just great.
Also, for all of you out there who have popularly named this plant as "the gateway drug", do us all a big favor and go choke on your food and die. Those people who jump from weed to crack have only themselves to blame. Any functioning, normal, responsible member of society can learn how to exercise a little self restraint. And to clear one thing up right now MARIJUANA IS NOT, I REPEAT, IS NOT, PHYSICALLY ADDICTIVE. So don't let any idiot tell you otherwise. In fact, it is one of the few substances that is not. People who start on weed and then move to a harder substance obviously were not listening when mommy and daddy taught them to be responsible and not give into peer pressure. If you don't have the brains to do your research on the shit you are putting into your body, then obviously you don't have many braincells to lose in the first place by taking harder drugs, and are, really, just a waste of everyone's time and efforts.
You aren't safe from my wrath either, you potheads. I have a real bone to pick with you. For gods sakes, exercise some fucking self restraint when doing this shit. Limit it to where you can still hold down a fucking job and not mooch off of grandma until you are 32 and still a virgin. I'm not condemning weed in any way, but like everything in life, it must be moderated. So either kill yourself, or grow a fucking brain.
Now then, the REAL reason why Marijuana is illegal:
In 1930, the Federal Bureau of Narcotics was established, directed by Harry J. Anslinger. Being a career driven man, Anslinger realized quickly the potential of this department, but also realized that opiates and cocaine (the target substances) would not being sufficient enough to further the advancement of the department. Thus, the war on Marijuana was born, using popular mass fears as leverage to demonize the plant, such as violence, racism, and prohibition as ammo. Through his influence, weed was quickly associated with sex and other drugs, which were also associated with violent and destructive behavior, raising fear in the minds of Americans. He is quoted using slandering phrases such as “There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others.” and “Marijuana is the most violence-causing drug in the history of mankind.”
There is much more to this, of course. But if I went into complete detail on the matter, that would leave no room for you to do some of your own independent research. Hey, I can't be doing all the work! So get off your asses!
So, to conclude, hemp is a wonderful plant put on this great earth by Jesus or Buddha or whoever the fuck is out there for the benefit of mankind, and is only banned from use because of one man's selfish ambitions (as well as the fact that the government cant make a decent profit off of it, considering the number of street dealers and everyone's ability to grow it themselves. But hey, that's just my own personal theory.) It's got wonderful material uses and medical benefits (and is a great stress reliever, if I do say so myself!) And for those of you still not convinced simply because the government says it's bad, just keep in mind that President Barack Obama himself had his fair share of it, too! How do you like them apples, bitches?!
That's all for today, folks. And remember, it is wiser to find out than to suppose (Mark Twain)
'Til next time,
-Skyler
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